I'm ashamed of my gender and generation.

Want to know what really pisses me off?
Girls who get guys/friends in ways they really shouldnt.
As I've said before, Im willing to wait for the perfect guy. One who I dont have to TRY to impress, or change myself for.
So what the hell is wrong with you other girls?
Seriously.
I have known so many of my friends since elementary school, and they have all changed.
I mean I know that growing up and trying new things is good, I just feel like im the only
girl in the world right now who can keep her legs closed, and doesnt drink or do drugs to get attention that will go away in like 5 minutes.
We learn these lessons in middle school, but I seriously feel like the only one who remembers them.
Maybe Im lame for not ever drinking, or the fact that Im not willing to jump into the first guy that likes me's pants, but I would rather REMEMBER my night, and not regret doing stuff JUST because I got caught up in the moment.
I may not have a 4.0 but Im not stupid. And I am not going to lower my I.Q. so a guy can think hes better than me, then want to talk to me.
And yah, right now I dont have a boyfriend, and I cannot name one person who is crushing on me, but at least I have dignity.
Half of me really feels like Im missing out on my teenage years, but the other half feels like I know what Im doing is right.
And I know whats right isnt always easy, but Karma will come around.
So ladies...
Grow some brains and some damn self-respect.

Its not so bad to enjoy life.

I FINALLY got my day off from school that I wanted.
No that I needed.
Its been so relaxing. Just listening to music, working out, laying down,
and watching food network to get ideas on what to cook for christmas.
And I came to a desicion yesterday.
Im so over having HUGE crushes that never work out.
Im 15.
I may feel like im 25 at times, but before I know it, I will be.
And I will have wasted alot of times trying to change everything about myself for a guy.
Sure, Ive never had a real boyfriend. But I know I will be a kick ass girlfriend SOMEDAY.
It just doenst have to be TODAY.
(But if some single, cute, music-loving, non-jock wants to come along and fall in love with me today, Im not complaining...)
As long as I know that I love myself, thats all that matters at the moment.
Im not afraid to admit that I am a christian (well im working on that aspect, but im trying to be closer to God) I love watching corny tv shows, I sing really off key, and I dance more than I do stand still, so until I find a guy who loves my quirks, Im fine loving every second of today, and soaking up as much music as my eardrums will allow.
I cannot wait to start up my dance classes again.
I miss learning new routines. Just so happens that my mom works with a girl whos mom teaches Jazz & Hip Hop. Which is amazing.
My mom seems to work with a lot of interesting people. Maybe I should apply at Freddies. I could always use a 10% discount.
I cannot even begin to guess who reads my blog, hopefully no creepy 40 year old men, but if you like good music, I highly reccomend Love Trucker. I bought their cd yesteday, and its a great cd to listen to when you need a pick me up from cleaning and laundry.
Im also really into The Kooks, Brett Dennen, The Secret Handshake and Feist right now. And dont just listen to 1234 by them, I mean its an amazing song, but aren't you tired of listening to it? Try mushaboom or my moon my man. All good. All spunky.
So. The Holidays are coming up. Normally I freak right about now... wrapping presents, making cards, making lists, and just trying to un-stress my life enough to enjoy the 48 hour period of christmas. This year Im still stressing, but Ive decided not EVERYTHING has to be perfect. It sounds so simple, but believe me, it helps. So, I may not make a bag of cookies for EVERY friend, and I didnt even begin to make christmas cards, but just by doing stuff for people, or smiling a little more, I know that Im being festive. God, Im like the queen of corny haha.
Im still hobby-less, but im looking. I think that dancing is like my only hobby. I mean, Im far from being pro, but between dance team, and classes, its something I never get sick of. I do, however, get sick of some bitches on dance teams, but never of the art of dancing. I dont have a gift or anything, just a really good sense of learning quickly.
Today I become a nerd. Well not really. I just get glasses, and only for reading. I still dont think I need them, but I could always stand to look smarter. Plus, they are adorable. I dont know why everyone is anti-glasses. I think they are sexy in a, "I work at Barnes and Noble, and I like scarfs" kinda way.
Well, enough rambling, life is calling. Life, and more laundry.
Peace and Love

Nice to meet cha.

My future boyfriend-
I really hope your cute.
And hopefully older, but I guess it doesnt matter, as long as your not younger.
And you like The Office, and you are funny.
And you dont care what I do, you like me anyways.
I dont know where you are, but Im dying to meet you,
so feel free to stop by and fall in love with me, and I'll return the favor.

Bottled up Emotions.

You know when feelings just bundle up alot?
and you feel like you have to cry?
Its one of those nights.
Im not sad, at least I dont think so.
I think for the last few weeks Ive just been really good at pushing away emotions
and not really thinking about right now,
just whats GONNA happen.
So everyone (including myself)
needs to enjoy whats happening right now.
Because tomorrow will be soon enough,
and If you dont enjoy the moment,
you wont have any memories.
Nothing has happened in my life to make me sad,
but everygirl needs to let it out once in a while.
I think I need my ipod,
comfy bed,
and some tissues tonight.
But its a good thing, I think.
Just a whole lot of emotions are coming out.
The past, the future, boys (or lack there of), myself, and my tummy ache.
Goodnight.
For now.

Imsomnia & Europe.

The only two things on my mind.
1. Its midnight, and I should go to sleep, but there are things I have to do before I go to sleep, that I just dont want to do.
2. I cannot wait to move to Italy my senior year. Its all I can think about lately.

Im so tired. Too tired to be deep and a creative writer, thats for sure.
I wish right now, I was in Italy. Curled up in my villa, in a chair, with a blanket and a book, watching the sunset.
That sounds just about the closest thing to perfect as I can think of.
I love how open I am about my life. But lately I dont feel like explaining everything. Just pushing things aside. The good and the bad.
See, even now I dont want to talk about big things in my life. Its nice just thinking lately. I have a bug bite on my ribs. Weird. And Itchy. I want a job. And a lisence. But mostly just Italy.
My parents said we wont even get a car in Italy for three reasons.
1. You can take the train just about anywhere there. (or fly)
2. The roads are small
3. Italian drivers are craaazy.
And my parents said we will get vespas over there.
:) Which is amazing.
My face is itchy. Scratch that. My body is itchy.
I use a lot of periods when I write. But they make for a good effect.
Oh, and also I cannot stop thinking about how much I want to move to New York when I graduate. Manhattan is all I want.
And im sick of people saying I wont like it there. I want excitment.
So, stop telling me to go to Clark.
Oh yah...because my whole life goal is to live in Battle Ground and pop out kids before im 20, and never travel. YAH RIGHT.
Well, thats all. I'll leave you with some amazing pictures.

Non essere che duro per sostenerme?

Im talking in Italian.
About Support.
Well I dont even know if thats right since the website I got it from is free, and crappy haha
But seriously.
IM MOVING TO ITALY IN 2009.
And I wish that people would stop saying that I wont.
Because both my parents have said we will.
Not like an, "Oh sure, honey, we'll talk later."
But my parents have already talked to people living arrangements, and such.
I am so excited because this is such an amazing experience, and my dream.
And I dont care that Im missing out on my senior year, I really dont.
Europe sounds a billion and one times more amazing.
Im smart enough to graduate early, and with summer classes, I can do it.
So, on my way to Italy, I'll give you a call, and then you will believe me.
My dad's friends uncle has a villa that is 50 minutes south of Rome that we are going to try and stay in for the whole year we are there.
And my whole family will get vespas, since no one drives cars over there,
and vespas kick ass, no?
Well, on to american subjects.
Angel Taylor is the most amazing singer in the worlddd
I would buy her CD in a second, if she had one.
But thank god for myspace.
I need a hobby.
My parents said that they are frusturated because they think I have potential for so many things, but I never stay with stuff long enough to have a hobby.
But I want that one thing, that I do no matter what.
Everytime I get a chance, every time Im upset, happy, or confused I DO THAT THING.
But finding a hobby is harder than it sounds.
Im going to find one, though.
Chelsey suggested being a goosebumps watcher, but Im more of the productive hobbier haha
Dang Im not gonna lie,
with my new confidence around guys, I feel alot better. Take for example, today.
I was driving past a very cute guy and he was walking.
And he was like smiling at me, so I kinda politely smiled back, then I was like, "I'll never see him again, so do whatever you want." So I did this really cute smile/laugh/flirt look. And he smiled like way bigger, and gave me a head tilt. I mean, I know I dont know him, and probably never will, but things like that make my day.
So, all you ladies out there. Maybe its not a boyfriend, but go ahead, smile at cute boys, because you never know which ones heart you will win over with your smile.
Damn, Im amazing.