I'm ashamed of my gender and generation.

Want to know what really pisses me off?
Girls who get guys/friends in ways they really shouldnt.
As I've said before, Im willing to wait for the perfect guy. One who I dont have to TRY to impress, or change myself for.
So what the hell is wrong with you other girls?
Seriously.
I have known so many of my friends since elementary school, and they have all changed.
I mean I know that growing up and trying new things is good, I just feel like im the only
girl in the world right now who can keep her legs closed, and doesnt drink or do drugs to get attention that will go away in like 5 minutes.
We learn these lessons in middle school, but I seriously feel like the only one who remembers them.
Maybe Im lame for not ever drinking, or the fact that Im not willing to jump into the first guy that likes me's pants, but I would rather REMEMBER my night, and not regret doing stuff JUST because I got caught up in the moment.
I may not have a 4.0 but Im not stupid. And I am not going to lower my I.Q. so a guy can think hes better than me, then want to talk to me.
And yah, right now I dont have a boyfriend, and I cannot name one person who is crushing on me, but at least I have dignity.
Half of me really feels like Im missing out on my teenage years, but the other half feels like I know what Im doing is right.
And I know whats right isnt always easy, but Karma will come around.
So ladies...
Grow some brains and some damn self-respect.

Its not so bad to enjoy life.

I FINALLY got my day off from school that I wanted.
No that I needed.
Its been so relaxing. Just listening to music, working out, laying down,
and watching food network to get ideas on what to cook for christmas.
And I came to a desicion yesterday.
Im so over having HUGE crushes that never work out.
Im 15.
I may feel like im 25 at times, but before I know it, I will be.
And I will have wasted alot of times trying to change everything about myself for a guy.
Sure, Ive never had a real boyfriend. But I know I will be a kick ass girlfriend SOMEDAY.
It just doenst have to be TODAY.
(But if some single, cute, music-loving, non-jock wants to come along and fall in love with me today, Im not complaining...)
As long as I know that I love myself, thats all that matters at the moment.
Im not afraid to admit that I am a christian (well im working on that aspect, but im trying to be closer to God) I love watching corny tv shows, I sing really off key, and I dance more than I do stand still, so until I find a guy who loves my quirks, Im fine loving every second of today, and soaking up as much music as my eardrums will allow.
I cannot wait to start up my dance classes again.
I miss learning new routines. Just so happens that my mom works with a girl whos mom teaches Jazz & Hip Hop. Which is amazing.
My mom seems to work with a lot of interesting people. Maybe I should apply at Freddies. I could always use a 10% discount.
I cannot even begin to guess who reads my blog, hopefully no creepy 40 year old men, but if you like good music, I highly reccomend Love Trucker. I bought their cd yesteday, and its a great cd to listen to when you need a pick me up from cleaning and laundry.
Im also really into The Kooks, Brett Dennen, The Secret Handshake and Feist right now. And dont just listen to 1234 by them, I mean its an amazing song, but aren't you tired of listening to it? Try mushaboom or my moon my man. All good. All spunky.
So. The Holidays are coming up. Normally I freak right about now... wrapping presents, making cards, making lists, and just trying to un-stress my life enough to enjoy the 48 hour period of christmas. This year Im still stressing, but Ive decided not EVERYTHING has to be perfect. It sounds so simple, but believe me, it helps. So, I may not make a bag of cookies for EVERY friend, and I didnt even begin to make christmas cards, but just by doing stuff for people, or smiling a little more, I know that Im being festive. God, Im like the queen of corny haha.
Im still hobby-less, but im looking. I think that dancing is like my only hobby. I mean, Im far from being pro, but between dance team, and classes, its something I never get sick of. I do, however, get sick of some bitches on dance teams, but never of the art of dancing. I dont have a gift or anything, just a really good sense of learning quickly.
Today I become a nerd. Well not really. I just get glasses, and only for reading. I still dont think I need them, but I could always stand to look smarter. Plus, they are adorable. I dont know why everyone is anti-glasses. I think they are sexy in a, "I work at Barnes and Noble, and I like scarfs" kinda way.
Well, enough rambling, life is calling. Life, and more laundry.
Peace and Love

Nice to meet cha.

My future boyfriend-
I really hope your cute.
And hopefully older, but I guess it doesnt matter, as long as your not younger.
And you like The Office, and you are funny.
And you dont care what I do, you like me anyways.
I dont know where you are, but Im dying to meet you,
so feel free to stop by and fall in love with me, and I'll return the favor.

Bottled up Emotions.

You know when feelings just bundle up alot?
and you feel like you have to cry?
Its one of those nights.
Im not sad, at least I dont think so.
I think for the last few weeks Ive just been really good at pushing away emotions
and not really thinking about right now,
just whats GONNA happen.
So everyone (including myself)
needs to enjoy whats happening right now.
Because tomorrow will be soon enough,
and If you dont enjoy the moment,
you wont have any memories.
Nothing has happened in my life to make me sad,
but everygirl needs to let it out once in a while.
I think I need my ipod,
comfy bed,
and some tissues tonight.
But its a good thing, I think.
Just a whole lot of emotions are coming out.
The past, the future, boys (or lack there of), myself, and my tummy ache.
Goodnight.
For now.

Imsomnia & Europe.

The only two things on my mind.
1. Its midnight, and I should go to sleep, but there are things I have to do before I go to sleep, that I just dont want to do.
2. I cannot wait to move to Italy my senior year. Its all I can think about lately.

Im so tired. Too tired to be deep and a creative writer, thats for sure.
I wish right now, I was in Italy. Curled up in my villa, in a chair, with a blanket and a book, watching the sunset.
That sounds just about the closest thing to perfect as I can think of.
I love how open I am about my life. But lately I dont feel like explaining everything. Just pushing things aside. The good and the bad.
See, even now I dont want to talk about big things in my life. Its nice just thinking lately. I have a bug bite on my ribs. Weird. And Itchy. I want a job. And a lisence. But mostly just Italy.
My parents said we wont even get a car in Italy for three reasons.
1. You can take the train just about anywhere there. (or fly)
2. The roads are small
3. Italian drivers are craaazy.
And my parents said we will get vespas over there.
:) Which is amazing.
My face is itchy. Scratch that. My body is itchy.
I use a lot of periods when I write. But they make for a good effect.
Oh, and also I cannot stop thinking about how much I want to move to New York when I graduate. Manhattan is all I want.
And im sick of people saying I wont like it there. I want excitment.
So, stop telling me to go to Clark.
Oh yah...because my whole life goal is to live in Battle Ground and pop out kids before im 20, and never travel. YAH RIGHT.
Well, thats all. I'll leave you with some amazing pictures.

Non essere che duro per sostenerme?

Im talking in Italian.
About Support.
Well I dont even know if thats right since the website I got it from is free, and crappy haha
But seriously.
IM MOVING TO ITALY IN 2009.
And I wish that people would stop saying that I wont.
Because both my parents have said we will.
Not like an, "Oh sure, honey, we'll talk later."
But my parents have already talked to people living arrangements, and such.
I am so excited because this is such an amazing experience, and my dream.
And I dont care that Im missing out on my senior year, I really dont.
Europe sounds a billion and one times more amazing.
Im smart enough to graduate early, and with summer classes, I can do it.
So, on my way to Italy, I'll give you a call, and then you will believe me.
My dad's friends uncle has a villa that is 50 minutes south of Rome that we are going to try and stay in for the whole year we are there.
And my whole family will get vespas, since no one drives cars over there,
and vespas kick ass, no?
Well, on to american subjects.
Angel Taylor is the most amazing singer in the worlddd
I would buy her CD in a second, if she had one.
But thank god for myspace.
I need a hobby.
My parents said that they are frusturated because they think I have potential for so many things, but I never stay with stuff long enough to have a hobby.
But I want that one thing, that I do no matter what.
Everytime I get a chance, every time Im upset, happy, or confused I DO THAT THING.
But finding a hobby is harder than it sounds.
Im going to find one, though.
Chelsey suggested being a goosebumps watcher, but Im more of the productive hobbier haha
Dang Im not gonna lie,
with my new confidence around guys, I feel alot better. Take for example, today.
I was driving past a very cute guy and he was walking.
And he was like smiling at me, so I kinda politely smiled back, then I was like, "I'll never see him again, so do whatever you want." So I did this really cute smile/laugh/flirt look. And he smiled like way bigger, and gave me a head tilt. I mean, I know I dont know him, and probably never will, but things like that make my day.
So, all you ladies out there. Maybe its not a boyfriend, but go ahead, smile at cute boys, because you never know which ones heart you will win over with your smile.
Damn, Im amazing.

To be young again.

I took a nap for a few hours,
and I feel so much better, its unbelievable.
So, Comcast updated their frequency or something,
and certain modems didnt work, so thats why I was internet-less
for 24 hours.
Which actually wasnt that bad,
since Ive gone without internet for much longer times...
And I had a biography due today, but I couldnt do it because I had no internet access.
Bummer, except for not.
Janelle and Sam are coming over to play RISK in like half an hour.
:)
World Domination may not be my future career choice, but it sure is fun to take over
Africa...
Im hungry.
Oh, so seeing as it is MY blog,
lets talk about my day.
(Im working on not being so self-centered, but this is a blog...)
Okay
So today I had to go to school for the first three periods, but none of the rest,
and It was nice.
Sure, I wanted the whole day off, and I cried before I went to school because I was so stressed,
but a day without Watrin is a good day, indeed.
And my dad had a dental appointment, and he was supposed to pick me up right after algebra,
but he was running a little late
So I got to go to lunch (and drink some very yummy high-sugar water)
and then ride the CASEE bus, then go home.
It was like the best, because I love the bus, but not the work at school.
And OH MY GOD
Today during PE was hilarious...
Even though Renee was pissed at me.
Okay, so she likes a boy there, (IM NOT SAYING WHO AGAIN...)
and she thinks he might like me, which I know he doesnt.
With my new attitude, I dont put myself down, and I am confident around guys a little more,
but I really really know he doesnt like me, were just friends.
Well anyway, all three of us were shooting hoops, but he was at a different hoop.
And Renee was mad at him, and didnt know what to do.
So I asked to see her basketball, then chucked it over to where he was haha
so she would HAVE to go by him to get it
She was really really pissed, and threw the basketball at my boob
(Not such a great feeling. Ow.)
But then I was like, "Let me show you how it's done."
And so I threw my basketball over near him and yelled at Renee like she had thrown it.
Then I strutted over there like a model, and every 5 seconds I was turing around and winking
at kids, and when I bent down to get the ball, I like dipped it low, and did a really black mood to my butt when I got up, then strutted back.
I pretty much looked like a fool, but he looked at me.
So, I did my job in showing Renee confidence=attention.
Haha Im so amazing I dont even know what to do with myself.
Renee is my BIFF (BFF phonectically)

Im a toker.

Actually, no, I'm really not.
But its in the joker song, and Im listening to that right now.
:)
I dont even think I know what a toker is, haha...
My hands smell like coconut lime. Yum. Im sure if you actually bite a coconut (can you bite them?) and bite a lime at the same time it wouldnt taste very good, but hey, they make for one hell of a lotion.
Dont let my sister know, but I actually kind of miss ice skating. When she took lessons, and I would have to skate with her like everyweek I kinda hated it, but now I miss it.
My hair was scrunchy today. I sometimes like it that way, but I seem to ever an ever-lasting amount of frizz on the top of my head. I know there are people dying in Africa, but my hair frizz was kind of a hot-topic for me today. I just thought I should let you all know that...
Its amazing how just by listening to a song, your stomach can do flips over thinking of someone. Renee knows its best, and I love picking songs on my ipod and just thinking about boys...
For a such a hopeless romantic, I sure am single alot. But, dont forget, Im all about the positivity now. I think that my new attitude has been helping my life, since I kicked ass at basketball today. And, Im sure me being positive had some karma effect on my black sports skills. Next up: Competitive Chicken & Waffles eater. Haha I really am not rasict, but you'd never guess.
Oh yah, in algebra I have a C! I know that sounds bad, (especially since it is my third time taking it) but compared to the F I had like a week ago, Im a-ok with it.
I really want a car. So I can get bumper stickers. Well, thats not the only reason, but you have to take that into consideration. I was at the doctors yesterday, and I noticed all the cars in the parking lot, and like none of them had a bumper sticker, which seems like a waste...
So far the bumper stickers I know I am getting (or currently have) are...
-I brake for Jake the Alligator Man
-WWCND (If you know what that stands for, congratulations)
-My other ride is a Nimbus 2000 (Haha Ive wanted that for like 3 years)
-Say No to Crack (theres a picture of a butt)
-I keep the Christ in Christmas (Just because it makes me crack up everytime I see it)
There are plenty more, but I cant think of them.
I am ready for Christmas, and decorating. I just need to clean first...
Well, algebra, a King Louis the 14th biography, and global warming reports are calling...oh, to be in highschool.

Hello, Holiday.

I dont know why I feel stressed around the holidays.
At my age Im sure this isnt good.
But I do.
And I cant help it. It all started when I was in 5th grade. I think sometimes Im happier when there is conflict in my life. Without it, I feel like there should be something wrong, and it sure does not take me long to find that something. This is bad, I think, but I really dont want to worry about it right now. I'll wait till this problem comes back to bite me in the ass in 10 years...
Anywho,
Today I was stressed. For a lot of reasons, but mostly people. Thanksgiving should be stress free, but heaven forbid it should be. (I watched Evan Almighty today and I hope I dont get in trouble for saying "heaven forbid") Anyway...The Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade is MY thing. Like, I brought it back to this family. And as the 81st Annual Parade came on today, I was stoked. And I had to leave to get butter for the turkey, so I paused it, because I didnt want to miss anything, and I was having fun watching it with Sara and talking to Janelle about it. Well, when I came back to the television, anime was on, and my parade was dunzo. Now, if you dont know me, then I will tell you that I HATE anime with a passion. I probably hate it more than anything in this world. And with only 12 minutes left of the parade, I was pissed. I barely got to see a half hour of it, without it being gone. Sure, there are re-runs the day after, but is it the same? NO. So, my sister, a very understanding person of my needs, went upstairs to watch the last 12 minutes of the parade, and we got to see Santa. But thats it.
That pretty much shot my T-day to heck. Well, most of it. Thank goodness my mom and sister were there to listen, and everyone of my friends that I texted. Who knew that hiding in a messy room with a bowl of puppy chow could chill you out so much?
Anyway, thanksgivng wasnt too bad I guess. I just really need to learn how to relax for once.
Please God Please let Christmas be better....
I really want to start a website. Scratch that. I am starting a website.
Thats all you get to know.
Well thanksgiving dishes are calling, and its almost 12:3o in the morning.
I have to get up in about 4 hours, and I have so much crap to do, you dont even know.
Im to tired its unbelievable. Ive gotten about 4 hours sleep in the last 24 hours. Its just one of those nights where im exhuasted, but I dont want to go to sleep, because if I do, then I have to wake up to a day I really dont want to face. It wouldnt be so bad if I didnt have to get my picture taken, which I really really really hate.
On that happy note, HAPPY THANKSGIVING, and I hope that your holidays are stress free. (But dont be afraid to be in a bad mood, its healthy to be pissed and vent, but just get over it.)

My Very First.

Actually, I am lying. This isnt my "very first" blog, but it is my first blog on blogger.com. Call me a nerd, but I am kind of excited. I need a creative outlet, or something to vent to. Since alot of my friends have a hard time replying to anything I say. Well, I was reading something on here, and it was a list making blog, and everything about lists. So, since I dont really know what to write about, I will make some lists, since it is something I do quite frequently when writing notes to my friends.

PLACES I WANT TO TRAVEL
New York
Italy
Greece
England
San Diego
Seattle
Spain
France

THINGS I AM CURRENTLY EXCITED FOR
CASEE Thanksgiving Feast
Thanksgiving Break
Thanksgiving
Day AfterThanksgiving Sale
Square Dance Lessons
Only 2 days of school next week
Christmas
Christmas Break
My Parents are talking about moving to Avignon, France in 2009

REASONS WHY I SHOULD BE GOING TO SLEEP
Its 1 a.m., and I have to get up in 4 hours
I have been very tired lately
Tomorrow is a school day
I have to face Mr. Watrin in the morning

Well, folks, there you have it. My first official blog. Someone grab the camera. Maybe it was a lame blog, but as a newbie, I really dont care. Plus I am running low on sleep, so I cannot be held accountable for my rambling. Good Night America (or whoever else is reading this around the world.)

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