I'm NOT in a good mood.

Which is exactly why I should blog.

Not only does it provide a venting station, but when I have a good day, I can appreciate it.

I guess I'm mad because I've had a crazy stomach ache for 24 hours. Be it the bird flu or just something I ate, I'm not happy about it.

Also, I had a spanish test today. Not only does spanish suck, but I failed the test I'm almost positive.

And I spent almost 3 hours studying today. So, obviously that was a waste.

Not to mention I didn't do my hair or makeup today. Liberating it is not.

Waking up late (for the 3rd time in a row) can really start a day off on the wrong foot.

I cannot get to bed before midnight. The earliest I've been to bed in the last 3 weeks is 11 PM.

It's now 12:33. I still have to shower, blow dry, and straighten my hair.

Awesome.

People's small comments all day have been getting to me. These comments are the core of my bad day.

I just really want people to know that I am awesome at remembering remarks.

Another load that's been heavy on my mind is that I'm just not happy right now.

I'm not depressed. I never have been. 

I'm just not super excited about life right now. I'm excited about things that will happen in the furture, like turning 18 and moving and stuff like that.

But at the same time I feel like my childhood/teenage years are promptly slipping away from me. 

I don't know what bothers me more, the fact that time is going by too fast when it comes to being a kid, or the fact that I don't care enough to try and do something about it.

I really feel like life is just at a stand-still for me. But it's just me who's standing still.

I'm more of hermit than ever. 

And sure, I'm trying to make plans, but I get this weird anixety that I can't even describe when I do.

It's just not good. 

But the more I think about it, I could use more friends. 

Since I tend to get mad at my friends for their choices they make.

But I love them all, I just don't think I'm a very good friend to them.

To sum up my day...

I kept looking at random places when I was walking like a staircase, or the grass, and all I could think was, "If I just layed down there and sort of melted into it for a few months, that'd be fine."

And I don't think that's how I should be feeling.

Maybe it's the weather.

Maybe it's my lack of social interaction from the last 6 months.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm 16 and quitting school and traveling the World isn't an option right now.

All I know is I want to cry really hard tonight.

I want every bad feeling to just pour out with the tears.

I don't even want a hug.

That's how lonely I'm feeling.

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